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May it please the:
- Court (if Court, specify District/High/Appeal/Supreme/Kangaroo).
Despite the direction to do so, we have not filed a joint memorandum because:
- We did not hear from the other side.
- We heard from the other side and, frankly, what we heard disturbed and alarmed us.
This memorandum is filed late because:
- We are ignorant that “two working days in advance” means two clear working days.
- We are merely conveniently overlooking the fact that “two working days in advance” means two clear working days.
There is presently:
- Not enough.
- Too much.
The other side has been:
- Lots more.
- Just the smoking gun emails.
The other side’s pleadings are:
- An overpacked Cook’s Tour of judicial review.
We note in particular that the second cause of action/ground of appeal seems:
- Doubtful on the basis of relevant authority.
- Not to comply with the requirements when pleading fraud.
- Demonstrative of only passing familiarity with the High Court Rules.
Despite the other side’s seemingly unanswerable points about our claim, at this point we’re just looking to get past:
- Strike out.
- Summary judgment.
- Next Tuesday.
Security for costs should be set at a level that is:
- Very high.
- Cripplingly high.
- Higher than that.
The defaults by the other side are:
- Unexplained and serious.
- Borderline contemptuous.
- All of the above.
The defaults by our side are:
- Out of our control.
- Really the other side’s fault [specify].
Our estimate of hearing date is:
- Implausibly less than the other side says.
- Significantly more than the Court wants to grant.
The height of the horse I will get on at the procedural hearing is:
- Very high.
Despite having raised no less than three highly contentious matters in this memorandum do we optimistically venture that orders might be made on the papers and appearances might be excused?
- Very much yes.
For court use only
To be Minuted:
- Orders accordingly. Appearances excused.
- Appearances required but cryptic silence as to which side I am annoyed at.
- Memorandum forwarded to Law Society marked attention of Standards Committee.