New QCs announcement causes dozens of workplace injuries

The list of new Queen’s Counsel appointments was announced today, causing dozens of workplace injuries.  Lawyers across the country fell off their chairs when they learned the powers that be had finally seen fit to appoint equal numbers of male and female silks.

Speaking, half-paralysed from the floor of her office, one lawyer said “Frankly the fact that the people making this decision managed to meet basic standards of equality came as a complete shock.”

Lawyers suffered injuries including coffee burns from surprised spit-takes and altitude sickness caused by rapidly elevated hopes that something might finally be changing in this godforsaken hellscape of a profession.

The lawyers who will take silk are:

  • Paul Dale
  • Maria Dew
  • Vivienne Crawshaw
  • Belinda Sellars
  • Robert Hollyman
  • James Rapley
  • Anthony Wilding
  • Andru Isac
  • Margaret (Anne) Stevens
  • Fiona Guy Kidd

The appointment of Andru Isac as Queen’s Counsel also contributes to the diversity of the spelling of “Andrew” among senior practitioners.


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